A Little Marriage Story for a Wednesday

Last week a bride in Arkansas shot her husband at their wedding reception.  When the police asked why, she said: “Well, no marriage is perfect.”

You know I had the usual questions like a) why did she have a gun at her wedding b) where was she hiding said gun c) what big problem could they have encountered in their first hours of marriage? In-laws? Money? Children? Honesty?

We’ve all been lead to believe a good marriage is based on things a couple has in common but I think it might be what you don’t have in common that really holds a marriage together.

I’ve said before that half of the arguments in our country are caused by something as simple as a little thing like a mosquito in the bedroom.  It’s true.  It becomes clear that you have married your complete opposite when one doesn’t mind the mosquito in the bedroom and the other cannot possibly exist in a bedroom with mosquitos.  mosquito.jpg

Wife:  “Wake up. Wake up.”

Husband:  “What is it? Are you okay?”

Wife:  “Shhhh, listen”

Husband: “I don’t…”

Wife: “Shhhh, listen.”

Husband:  “What am I listening for?”

Wife:  “Hear it?”

Wife jumps up, pulls back the covers,  turns on all of the lights, wakes up both dogs, and starts waving her arms around in the air.  Husband is now standing at the end of the bed.  He has grabbed a shoe, slipped on one leg of his blue jeans and is searching for his glasses.  Then and only then, does wife let him know they have a mosquito in the room and she needs him to find it, kill it and make sure no other blood-sucking parasites have made their way into their sacred area of the house.

“Please ignore the insect and just go back to sleep.  There is no way for us to find him.” “But, they’re noisy and carry malaria.” wife responds. Husband rolls eyes and he lays back down in bed.  “No, no, no, don’t lay back down. We can find him.  I think there are two of them. There. There. On my pillow.  Hit him!  You missed!  Good grief, you are a man that spends 9 months of a year hitting baseballs with a bat, but you are horrible at hitting mosquitoes.”

“Those two mosquitoes aren’t bothering me. I’m going to bed. You can kill it yourself, Warrior Princess.”Xena_warrior_princess.jpg

“You know how those pesky creatures got into our house? You left that window open in the dining room last night.”

“Get back in bed.”

“You know if you had cleaned out the oven after the pizza cheese ran over the side on Sunday Night, we wouldn’t have needed to open that window.”

“Go back to sleep.”

“You know your mother should have never worn that cream colored dress to our wedding.”

“That has nothing to do with mosquitoes.”

“Well if you don’t care if I get Malaria I will go sleep in the living room.”

End of Scene…Maybe this should be part of the marriage counseling sessions before weddings.  Just saying.

Anyway, a little late night “bugging” is a healthy thing in a marriage.  The way I see it, you can either “bug”  your way through 30, 40 or 80 years of marriage or wear a gun to your wedding.

Be Amazing Friends,

Allyson

PS. I read a tweet a few weeks ago by Will Ferrell and he had some pretty good marriage advice:  “Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”

True… So true…

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Love in this Crazy Mess We Call Life

I’m worried about what a marriage means to the younger generation.

Facebook and Instagram and the Bachelorette have lied to them.

They’ve made our lives seem less than perfect.  They’ve made us see our imperfections and taught us how to add a filter to cover them up.  They’ve also made us think that falling in love is quick, easy and filled with fancy trips.

What I know after 27 years of marriage, is that every night is not a romantic party. We aren’t having candlelit dinners, buying each other expensive gifts, and talking about endless dreams at night.  Nope…we are eating Spaghetti, going to Home Depot and are praying that our hot water tank holds up for another year.

My Current Marriage Reality:

My sink is full of dishes, my floors need to be mopped and the only vacation we are going on this year is a trip to the lake with my parents…in their travel trailer… all 6 of us…with one bathroom.

My Current Marriage Reality:

I know how to use the slimming feature on pic monkey because I’ve gained 10 pounds in the past year. I know how to use the Sierra filter because I have sun damage from too much sun.  And our fancy, fun, family time means eating free popsicles on Friday nights.

My Current Marriage Reality:

My goodness girls, don’t get too jealous, but tonight we are both laying on the couch in our pajama pants with computers in our laps.  In the last hour, we have only said two words to each other and that was  “excuse me” for the bodily function that escaped without warning.

Glamorous life and marriage?

So if you need to know about how to keep love and a marriage together, you should ask people with a lifetime of experience.  So here is some advice from some experienced 63-103-year-olds.

They agree we all need these 5 things in the crazy mess we call life:

  1. Confidence. No not “everything in my life is great”confidence but, that we both bring worth to our marriage.  We also agree that we have an attractive quality that has nothing to do with our outward appearance.  (Dodged a bullet here, I was so worried my man wouldn’t be able to tell me what my attractive quality was but he finally came up with humor. That I find the light side of every situation.) short-quotes-personal2.jpg
  2. Happiness. Y’all, honestly, sometimes we fake it until we make it.   Everyone wants to be around happy people and wants to love happy people. Heck, it’s why we love dogs.  They are happy to see us, forgive easily and a small rub between the ears goes a long way. So focus your energy on thinking about and doing the things that make your marriage happy.Be-Happy-And-Smile.-Happiness-Quote.jpg
  3. Share experiences. We actually enjoy doing things together. (or see above, fake it until we make it)  We go to ballgames.  We shop garage sales.  We paint, go to church, and sit quietly on our couch together.  2984149-Eike-Batista-Quote-Nobody-is-happy-alone-To-share-experiences-is.jpg
  4. Depend on each other. He’s mine and I’m his.  We just depend on each other.  If he is happy, I’m happy.  If he is sad, I am sad.  We both know that we could survive without each other…but…we.DON’T.want.to…ever.husband-quote-deep-love.jpg
  5. Luck.  Even with all these characteristics, couples were aware that holding their marriage together has to do with a little luck and a whole lot of Jesus. The Price’s know that we have been lucky and that God has protected our marriage.  Luck brought us together and I remind my man every day how lucky he is to have me. 🙂  TRUTH:  We pray A LOT for each other, our family, and our marriage.Sam_Keen_Quote.png

Got to go because I’m headed out for a crazy adventure with my man.  We are headed to McDonald’s for breakfast, going garage sale-ing, and then hopeful taking a nap this afternoon.  Lucky, lucky him and me.

Have an amazing Saturday Friends!!

Allyson