Now that our high school season is over, we watch A LOT baseball on television. Well, my man watches the baseball and I watch the stands. Last night my friend and her family went to the game and for 3 hours I sat just searching for her in the stands. I had no idea what the score was or what inning we were in or what jersey the Rangers were wearing. Nothing. But I do know what a lot of people were doing in the stands.
When I say watch the stands, I mean study them, I get involved with the people and even makeup life stories to go with each person I watch. Seriously? You don’t do that? Does that make me crazy?
Well, I wanted to let you know about a few people I saw last night.
The guy with the green shirt on: Why are you at a Ranger’s game sitting right behind the dugout without a Rangers shirt on? Dude, you could have at least put on blue or red, or, heck, I would have taken white at this point. Then the made-up story started. Oh, you are are in town for a business conference? Your boss asked if you wanted to go to the game with him and you had to wear what you had in your suitcase. You are trying to make a good impression because your wife is expecting twins and you need a raise. Okay, I’m sorry I judged you.
Lady with constant praying hands: Lady, I have prayed to the baseball gods many times. I have asked for a hit, a catch and a strike. But I’ve never prayed for three innings straight. Are you okay? Is something else going on? Even the man sitting next to you seems to be a little worried. You know what, I’m just going to pray for you. My God is bigger than the baseball gods.
8-year-old sitting in the fancy seats: Somehow I have seen the bottom of your shoes, the back of your leg and your red shirt. I watched you eat a hotdog, ice cream, and soda. Your dad is out of view except for his hand that I have seen many times on your seat, leg, and picking up things in front of you. Little Dude, you wasted your parent’s money tonight. I know they only brought you along because…well they couldn’t leave an 8-year-old at home alone. (All parents learned that from a movie from 1990.)
New Mommy with the baby in a Baby Bjorn: I first applaud you for being able to figure out how to put that baby sling on. I never could. Second, great job choosing a game that is not 124 degrees and at 2:00 in the afternoon. You didn’t plan on coming, did you? You honestly just wanted to get out of the house. You didn’t even know who was playing. It’s okay. I’m glad you are out of the house. Keep loving that baby.
Man with hand in the air: I see you. You are proud of your team. You also may have had too many drinks. You don’t need to fist pump every time the Rangers throw a strike. You don’t need to high five the guy behind you every time we get an out. I’m starting to worry about your health and personal hygiene. Did you stretch before coming into the park? Did you apply a high-quality deodorant? You are actually now making the people around you very uncomfortable. They won’t tell you, but I will…STOP IT. Stop it now.
I’ve looked for three hours for my friend. She’s there but I never spotted her. She sent me this picture and of course, all I saw was the player dabbing in the background. I may need to help y’all.
I’ve got to go though. I’ve got a lot of people to pray for. Go Rangers!!