Life Instructions or a Testing Manual?

When you are giving State tests for three days straight, you start to hallucinate.  I start hearing voices, beg for another adult to let me go to the bathroom, and entertain myself with solving the world’s problems.

download.jpgToday though, it became very clear that the STAAR testing manual could be an instruction manual for life.

Like really, think about it.  Maybe it’s you getting ready to have your first born. Wouldn’t it had been nice to have someone give you these instructions?

Today you will be having a ‘baby’.  I’m going to give each of you a ‘baby’ booklet.  Do not open or write on it until I ask you to do so.  If you have any questions while I’m giving you this ‘baby’, please let me know.  Please keep your ’emotions’ on the table until I tell you that you may use them.

Please check to make sure that you have the right ‘baby’, it should have your name at the top.   If you have any questions, please raise your hand.

Open your ‘baby’ booklet and locate the reference materials.  You may use these when you are solving problems with ‘raising your baby’.  The reference materials are perforated and may be torn out of your ‘baby’ booklet if you choose.

Well, heck yes, you better believe I’m tearing out the reference materials.  They will be laminated and taped to the refrigerator.

But I really believe God has the best lines in the instruction manuals.

If you need help, please raise your (eyes to me).

Yes, it said ‘hand’ but eyes sound better.  Remember, I am hallucinating.

Then I started thinking about all of the parents that are graduating their first born or their last born.  Really this manual could be for you too.

Give only one answer for each question of our graduate.  Remember to give your answers very carefully and make your mark dark and neat.  If you find that you need to change your answer, completely erase your first choice and fill in your new choice.

Does anyone have any questions?

I cannot help you answer any of going-out-in-life questions.  You must answer those on your own.  I can only help you with questions about the direction you should go.

You may not know all of the answers to all of the questions.  If you don’t know the answer, choose the answer you think might be correct.  Remember, you may write on your ‘heart’ if you would like to make notes.

Then God shows up again.

If you need help, please raise your ‘eyes to me’.

By this time, I’m stumbling over my words and I look over my reading glasses at the 11-12-year-olds that are staring back at me.  And I start to think about getting older and all of the years I have read these instructions to children.

What if this was an aging manual?

You will have around 90 years to complete this life.  Stop when you come to the last page.  During your life, you will be provided with reminders of the time you have left.  All of your ‘adventures’ must be recorded by the end of your time.

You may check your answers when you are finished, but do not open or work on any other section of your life.

Be sure to erase any stray marks that you might have accidentally made on your life.

Are there any questions?

Most answers at this point are “I can’t answer that for you; just do the best you can.”

Now for those middle years.  The ones between the beginning and the end.  The dash years some say.  What did the instructions have for them?

Please sit quietly so that you do not disturb others who are still ‘having fun’.

Remember you may use a ‘bible’ during this time of your life.  (You will actually NEED it.)

You will now be taking ‘on life’ by yourself.  Remember to ‘love’ very carefully.  Make our marks dark and neat.  (And be very careful with who you are making them with.)

While you are growing up, we will be quietly moving around ‘your life’ to make sure you are following directions and ‘making the most of it’.

And God shows up again to do His thing.

If you need help, please raise your (eyes to me).

Are there any questions?

If not, you may begin.

PS.  They even give you something to say when you see someone that needs a little redirection:  Please go back and ________.  (Fill in your own blank!)

 

Go Be  Amazing!!  Allyson

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