A Little Marriage Story for a Wednesday

Last week a bride in Arkansas shot her husband at their wedding reception.  When the police asked why, she said: “Well, no marriage is perfect.”

You know I had the usual questions like a) why did she have a gun at her wedding b) where was she hiding said gun c) what big problem could they have encountered in their first hours of marriage? In-laws? Money? Children? Honesty?

We’ve all been lead to believe a good marriage is based on things a couple has in common but I think it might be what you don’t have in common that really holds a marriage together.

I’ve said before that half of the arguments in our country are caused by something as simple as a little thing like a mosquito in the bedroom.  It’s true.  It becomes clear that you have married your complete opposite when one doesn’t mind the mosquito in the bedroom and the other cannot possibly exist in a bedroom with mosquitos.  mosquito.jpg

Wife:  “Wake up. Wake up.”

Husband:  “What is it? Are you okay?”

Wife:  “Shhhh, listen”

Husband: “I don’t…”

Wife: “Shhhh, listen.”

Husband:  “What am I listening for?”

Wife:  “Hear it?”

Wife jumps up, pulls back the covers,  turns on all of the lights, wakes up both dogs, and starts waving her arms around in the air.  Husband is now standing at the end of the bed.  He has grabbed a shoe, slipped on one leg of his blue jeans and is searching for his glasses.  Then and only then, does wife let him know they have a mosquito in the room and she needs him to find it, kill it and make sure no other blood-sucking parasites have made their way into their sacred area of the house.

“Please ignore the insect and just go back to sleep.  There is no way for us to find him.” “But, they’re noisy and carry malaria.” wife responds. Husband rolls eyes and he lays back down in bed.  “No, no, no, don’t lay back down. We can find him.  I think there are two of them. There. There. On my pillow.  Hit him!  You missed!  Good grief, you are a man that spends 9 months of a year hitting baseballs with a bat, but you are horrible at hitting mosquitoes.”

“Those two mosquitoes aren’t bothering me. I’m going to bed. You can kill it yourself, Warrior Princess.”Xena_warrior_princess.jpg

“You know how those pesky creatures got into our house? You left that window open in the dining room last night.”

“Get back in bed.”

“You know if you had cleaned out the oven after the pizza cheese ran over the side on Sunday Night, we wouldn’t have needed to open that window.”

“Go back to sleep.”

“You know your mother should have never worn that cream colored dress to our wedding.”

“That has nothing to do with mosquitoes.”

“Well if you don’t care if I get Malaria I will go sleep in the living room.”

End of Scene…Maybe this should be part of the marriage counseling sessions before weddings.  Just saying.

Anyway, a little late night “bugging” is a healthy thing in a marriage.  The way I see it, you can either “bug”  your way through 30, 40 or 80 years of marriage or wear a gun to your wedding.

Be Amazing Friends,


PS. I read a tweet a few weeks ago by Will Ferrell and he had some pretty good marriage advice:  “Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”

True… So true…

One thought on “A Little Marriage Story for a Wednesday

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